If you think midlife crisis is something to be taken lightly, DON'T. One might argue the spouse of one going through a midlife crisis is one of the strongest types of individuals on the planet. Imagine your world crashing in front of you, no physical affection, no love, lots of anger directed towards you. And, you have to take it!!
What? Yes, during your spouses midlife crisis, they will tell you "they don't feel it", "I don't think we are a good couple" or provide you with several other lines that will feel like a knife has gone through your heart. You could lose weight from the nervous stress that you undergo too. For some, this can be a good thing.
In the end, if you want your marrige to be restored (with no guarantees) you are going to have to patiently wait while your spouse, books a trip, goes to more rock concerts, goes out to party, and trys to find the solution or fountain of youth. In the end the scary part is that a spouse going through a midlife crisis may be gone forever. And at some point you have to decide if the pain and suffering is worth the wait. How can a spouse that says you are perfect for me one day think you are the worst person on the planet the next? Your patience during this time will be needed like never before. One day your spouse might even talk to you about something meaningful and the next they may snap at you for no apparent reason. A midlife crisis could take years to unfold as this person wants to ultimately become the person they always wanted to become. And to do that, they need to take risk. But the risk they take in the beginning is usually some sort of affair that fills some sort of need. Meanwhile most people that have affairs, do not move on to have a long lasting relationship. Some never figure this out and go from unhappy relationship to unhappy relationship....Sad.
Regardless, this is going to take time and a toll on your family. Can you stay COMPLETELY CALM? Can you separate so many emotions? Can you practice the greatest virtue in getting through midlife? Patience.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I'm going through a hell with my husband. I love him to death. He's 41 and I'm 43. We have four beautiful children and have been together for 15 years. My thoughts about mid-life crisis is so damaging. My husband has become distant and I found out he had an affair with a married women. I also recently found pictures of him in a club with another woman. My heart was broken instantly in shock, I couldn't believe it.
My. husband did it all...It is now almost 10years after his affair came out in the open...he ran to her contined to see talk and more...he just couldn't totally for many years get rid of his addiction/fix if u would with her she was his toy....Now after about 7years...he has had stents, bypass, total knee surgery, diabetes..and I have stuck by him
.
Does this all hurt, rejection. nasty behavior verbal abuse...so painful..but we do it for love hoping someday to get some back in return..and maybe they will tell you again they are "IN" love with you .
Love you
Sweatheart
Post a Comment