Mid Life Crisis for Dummies

Midlife Crisis For Dummies

Imagine you have been married for 15 years, and you perceive your spouse completely loses it.  That is an awful way of putting a mid life crisis, but, that is how it feels.  It is not really that, it just feels like your life partner woke up one day and snapped.

You have no choice.  Support. Let Go. Grow! What does this mean? Well likely the process to get to this point has been a identifiable combination of stresses over years far beyond your marriage.  All you can do is show your support. If they want to move out help them.  Why?  Because you own nobody.  And their freeewill is what they need.

Let Go.  This is where we learn so much is out of our control.

Grow.  Rembember those stresses?  You were one of them. Sorry, it is the truth.  Dummy :) But we are all human so if you want to improve who you are here is your chance.  Here is the other tip.  Don't tell anyone you are growing.

Cheers

5 months in

It has been 5 full months since my wife dropped the bomb. "Look I am not in love with you anymore". Since that shocker, we have had a whirlwind of change and to be honest, the light is still dim. But there is a light. My wife I believe is going through a huge midlife transformation. For 2 years she has been online with an ex bf on and off. She goes out and parties with the girls and has in my opinion been hugely influenced by a set of divorced woman. Still, I am at peace now. For those of you going through a spouses midlife crisis, or transformation as I refer to it, unless you knew about this stuff, you are likely going to become your most embarassing self. But as you soon will find, there is nothing you can say to accelerate you spouse out of this any faster. As my therapist says, it is a process. So you will hopefully build up the courage to keep quiet and build your own life as if this current one is gone. It does not mean that you are done though. Life got in the way for us, I did not tend to my wife in hindsight the way I should. But now I see the need to stop judging and stop being critical. Love your wife for who they are as they need your support. Calm down and she might slowly come back. So here is where I am in this midlife journey. I am spending time making my whole family feel safe. I am not blaming. I am growing up myself. I am detaching from my wife as she sorts through the very difficult period in her life. I am still with my wife and I hope we remain, but I can only control myself.
Tired and lonely