Midlife Crisis For Dummies
Imagine you have been married for 15 years, and you perceive your spouse completely loses it. That is an awful way of putting a mid life crisis, but, that is how it feels. It is not really that, it just feels like your life partner woke up one day and snapped.
You have no choice. Support. Let Go. Grow! What does this mean? Well likely the process to get to this point has been a identifiable combination of stresses over years far beyond your marriage. All you can do is show your support. If they want to move out help them. Why? Because you own nobody. And their freeewill is what they need.
Let Go. This is where we learn so much is out of our control.
Grow. Rembember those stresses? You were one of them. Sorry, it is the truth. Dummy :) But we are all human so if you want to improve who you are here is your chance. Here is the other tip. Don't tell anyone you are growing.
Cheers
Showing posts with label patience. Show all posts
Showing posts with label patience. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Patience In Midlife Crisis
If you think midlife crisis is something to be taken lightly, DON'T. One might argue the spouse of one going through a midlife crisis is one of the strongest types of individuals on the planet. Imagine your world crashing in front of you, no physical affection, no love, lots of anger directed towards you. And, you have to take it!!
What? Yes, during your spouses midlife crisis, they will tell you "they don't feel it", "I don't think we are a good couple" or provide you with several other lines that will feel like a knife has gone through your heart. You could lose weight from the nervous stress that you undergo too. For some, this can be a good thing.
In the end, if you want your marrige to be restored (with no guarantees) you are going to have to patiently wait while your spouse, books a trip, goes to more rock concerts, goes out to party, and trys to find the solution or fountain of youth. In the end the scary part is that a spouse going through a midlife crisis may be gone forever. And at some point you have to decide if the pain and suffering is worth the wait. How can a spouse that says you are perfect for me one day think you are the worst person on the planet the next? Your patience during this time will be needed like never before. One day your spouse might even talk to you about something meaningful and the next they may snap at you for no apparent reason. A midlife crisis could take years to unfold as this person wants to ultimately become the person they always wanted to become. And to do that, they need to take risk. But the risk they take in the beginning is usually some sort of affair that fills some sort of need. Meanwhile most people that have affairs, do not move on to have a long lasting relationship. Some never figure this out and go from unhappy relationship to unhappy relationship....Sad.
Regardless, this is going to take time and a toll on your family. Can you stay COMPLETELY CALM? Can you separate so many emotions? Can you practice the greatest virtue in getting through midlife? Patience.
What? Yes, during your spouses midlife crisis, they will tell you "they don't feel it", "I don't think we are a good couple" or provide you with several other lines that will feel like a knife has gone through your heart. You could lose weight from the nervous stress that you undergo too. For some, this can be a good thing.
In the end, if you want your marrige to be restored (with no guarantees) you are going to have to patiently wait while your spouse, books a trip, goes to more rock concerts, goes out to party, and trys to find the solution or fountain of youth. In the end the scary part is that a spouse going through a midlife crisis may be gone forever. And at some point you have to decide if the pain and suffering is worth the wait. How can a spouse that says you are perfect for me one day think you are the worst person on the planet the next? Your patience during this time will be needed like never before. One day your spouse might even talk to you about something meaningful and the next they may snap at you for no apparent reason. A midlife crisis could take years to unfold as this person wants to ultimately become the person they always wanted to become. And to do that, they need to take risk. But the risk they take in the beginning is usually some sort of affair that fills some sort of need. Meanwhile most people that have affairs, do not move on to have a long lasting relationship. Some never figure this out and go from unhappy relationship to unhappy relationship....Sad.
Regardless, this is going to take time and a toll on your family. Can you stay COMPLETELY CALM? Can you separate so many emotions? Can you practice the greatest virtue in getting through midlife? Patience.
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